Home is Where the Farce is
by Lanie L Sullivan
Summary: This is a response to a challenge from many months ago put out by fellow writer, tjsmklvr to write SMK in the style of another genre. A little insight to the reaction of Lee and Amanda's co-workers once they reveal their mystery marriage, purely for fun. Many thanks to clagjanet for the beta job. One-shot


Disclaimer: "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The plot is mine, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

Author's Note: This is a story written in response to Taya's "in the style of" challenge. In other words, to write an SMK story in the style of another genre. For my response, I chose classic sitcom style as the gang from The Agency imagines what Lee's new home life is like after the revelation of the mystery marriage. NOTE: This is not intended to be a tale of HOW their secret was revealed, simply to explore the reaction from their co-workers.

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"I just can't believe it," Fred Fielder shook his head as he watched the man who, until recently, had been termed The Agency's most well-known playboy exiting the bullpen for the day with a smile on his face. "Scarecrow's married."

"Believe it," Francine responded as she waved a file folder at him. "The proof is right here in my hands. Trust me, I've been spending the last hour since they announced it in the afternoon briefing, helping them get their paperwork together to make it official here."

"Well, it does explain why he's been taking so many weekends off lately," Agent Jensen chimed in with a nod to the other blond woman.

"Okay, so it makes sense with his behavior and why he was so anxious to take that two weeks off that Dr. Smyth promised him, but-" Fred began.

"AND why he insisted that Amanda be allowed to take that time off with him," Francine interrupted. "So, he could move in with his family."

Jensen shrugged her shoulders. "Somehow those things just don't seem to mesh...Scarecrow and family."

"No kidding," Beaman added his two cents. "I have to admit though that the way he was always butting into her training classes, I had a good idea that he was more than just her mentor."

"I got a hundred bucks that says he'll be bored within a year living the suburban life," Fred challenged the others.

"Where's you sense of romance, Fred?" Jensen questioned.

"Romance?" Beaman scoffed. "Those two?"

"Well, you know, Beaman, some guys around here don't have to be drunk to tell a woman how they feel about her," Francine reminded him.

"Can't you just picture their home life?" Fred questioned. "Probably like something out of _Leave it to Beaver_..."

 _"Hi, Honey. I'm home!" Lee called cheerily as he entered the house._

 _"Oh, hello, Dear," Amanda replied sweetly, but as he leaned in for a kiss, she stopped him with a hand on his chest. "Lee! Not now! The boys are right there in the breakfast nook doing their homework. What if they see?"_

 _He sighed. "Silly me. What was I thinking?"_

 _"You know, you're just in time. I was just getting ready to take the roast out of the oven for dinner," Amanda replied sweetly as she walked toward the dining room, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor, strand of pearls swinging from side to side, dress swaying around her legs._

"Hold it!" Francine stopped Fred's narrative with a wave of her hand. "I've been to Amanda's house at dinner time and I can tell you she does NOT wear heels and pearls while she's cooking."

"Oh, come on, Frannie, where's your sense of humor?" Fred fired back. "I bet with Amanda's reputation for being so naive, that they even have twin beds like the Cleavers."

"With Lee around. Not likely," Francine argued.

"Oh, come on. You have to admit, it's pretty funny," Jensen added.

"This from the woman who was just complaining about Fred's lack of a sense of romance?" She arched an eyebrow. "Now, _this_ is how I see it...with Amanda's penchant for finding trouble, I see it more like _I Love Lucy_."

 _""Manda, I'm HO-OME!" Lee called, but then heard a crash coming from the direction of the kitchen._

 _Before he could enter the room, Amanda came barreling out with a breezy, "Hi, Honey. I'm so glad you're home." She gave him a bright smile as she used her body to block the door to the kitchen._

 _"What's going on in there?"_

 _"What's going on in where?"_

 _"In there!' He pointed to the kitchen._

 _"In where?"_

 _"In that room!" he insisted as he started to get steamed._

 _"What room?"_

 _"THAT room!" he gestured with both arms to the doorway she was blocking._

 _"Oh,_ _ **that**_ _room!" She smiled again. "Oh, nothing. I was just getting dinner ready, you know? It is almost dinner time."_

 _"A-MAN-da!"_

 _"Okay, okay. I didn't mean for it to happen because I'm usually so careful, but it_ _ **did**_ _happen because I wasn't as careful as I should have been and well, you know that guy we've been after, Melcher, well, I caught sight of him and started following, but he must have doubled back because then he was following me and I thought I lost him, so I came home, but then I guess I didn't lose him because the next thing I know, there he is sneaking in the back door and he's...well, now he's out cold on the kitchen floor and dinner's ruined and-"_

 _His face turning red, he barked, "How do you get from him following you to dinner's ruined?"_

 _"Well, I was making fried chicken and he snuck up on me and I had to hit him with something, so since I already had my hand on the frying pan-"_

The rest of the group in the bullpen laughed at Francine's version of events, however, Beaman felt the need to chime in, "A disaster in the kitchen? That sounds more like you than Amanda."

"Hey!"

Her perturbed expression got the other three laughing even harder. "Now, me," he continued. "Personally, I see Amanda as a bit more modern. More like Samantha Stephens, no frilly dresses like Lucy Ricardo or June Cleaver. Let's face it, with Scarecrow, she's the one wearing the pants in that family."

 _"Amanda, I'm home," Lee called as he entered the house._

 _"Hi, Sweetheart," Amanda replied as she greeted him with a kiss. "Dinner's almost ready. The kids are upstairs. Would you mind telling them to wash up while I get it on the table? And make sure Jamie gets under his fingernails. There's no telling what he's been up to with that chemistry set of his."_

 _"Sure, Sweetheart," Lee replied sweetly, but with an underlying hint of irritation._

 _"What's wrong, Sweetheart? Did you have a rough day at work?"_

 _"Oh, it's just Billy. He wants me to go on an out of town trip with him this weekend to work on a new assignment and I know I promised you and the kids-"_

 _"It's okay, the children will be disappointed, but they'll understand. We'll just have to think of a way for you to make it up to them."_

 _"I can't believe you're letting him off the hook that easily," Dotty interjected._

 _"Mother!" Amanda hissed._

 _"Dotty," Lee greeted her with clenched teeth. "Always a pleasure."_

 _"Charmed, I'm sure, Leo."_

 _"It's Lee," he corrected._

 _"My apologies, Levi," Dotty replied insincerely._

"Oh, my God, I can't breathe!" Jensen howled with laughter.

"That one's almost perfect. Mother-in-law and all," Fred added.

"What's so funny?" Amanda interrupted the cackle-fest which only set the group laughing even harder. She looked from one animated face to another. "Someone care to let me in on the joke?"

Francine composed herself, cleared her throat loudly and asked, "Did you need something?"

Amanda nodded to the folder in her hand. "I was just over there borrowing Duffy's desk to work on the paperwork to legally change my name 'cause, you know, I can't get anything done upstairs with Lee around. Well, now it's done and I thought I should turn it in to Billy before I leave for the day."

"I'll make sure that he gets it," Francine promised while the others looked at each other worriedly, wondering if she'd heard them and how much she might have heard.

"Thank you, Francine." Amanda turned to leave, but when she heard an audible sigh of relief from the others, thought better of it and to the group, said, "You know, I've always thought of myself as more of a Laura Petrie. You know, I'm supportive of my husband, and while I may have a knack for finding trouble, I'm usually pretty good at getting myself out of it. Plus, Lee is always saying how much he likes my legs, which is the reason we definitely don't sleep in twin beds." She grinned at all of them, turned on her heel and walked out, leaving them all staring open-mouthed after her.


End file.
